Speaker 0: I'm gonna move people around on my screen, so forgive
Speaker 0: me if I'm looking away at the, um, not necessarily
Speaker 0: looking straight ahead, OK?
Speaker 0: Um.
Speaker 0: I'm going to talk about this session real quick.
Speaker 0: Uh, you can kind of see the session objectives.
Speaker 0: Basically, this presentation is gonna be broken up into 4
Speaker 0: parts.
Speaker 0: The first part is going to be describing kind of
Speaker 0: the history of kind of our country, uh, as far
Speaker 0: as how we've gotten here regarding connection and community.
Speaker 0: Uh, the second part is gonna be honing in a
Speaker 0: little bit more about.
Speaker 0: Uh, social media and AI and kind of how we
Speaker 0: got to this point, generative AI, and then the third
Speaker 0: part is gonna be about some, uh, critical considerations for
Speaker 0: youth mental health in the digital, uh, environment that we
Speaker 0: see ourselves in.
Speaker 0: And the last part is gonna be about more, maybe
Speaker 0: some more practical implications for yourselves and whoever you're, uh,
Speaker 0: working with and where whatever setting you're in as a
Speaker 0: helping professional, um, so I'm going to skip this part.
Speaker 0: Introductions, uh.
Speaker 0: Katie did a great job of introducing us.
Speaker 0: I'm gonna skip this part too.
Speaker 0: Here, um, on this slide is the A QR code
Speaker 0: for the actual slides and then also the link to
Speaker 0: the slides.
Speaker 0: I just wanna tell you real quick about this partic
Speaker 0: particular presentation format.
Speaker 0: I'm using something called gamma.
Speaker 0: It's basically my go to presentation format.
Speaker 0: It's gonna be, um, there's gonna be very dense information
Speaker 0: on here.
Speaker 0: I just, there's just a lot to talk about, right?
Speaker 0: But if you actually open up the presentation, you can
Speaker 0: actually click on the links, um, the websites, and I've
Speaker 0: downloaded several documents, research articles, all that stuff is in.
Speaker 0: Here.
Speaker 0: So if you click on those, it will take you
Speaker 0: to the actual sources that we'll talk through, and there's
Speaker 0: a lot of them, OK?
Speaker 0: So, I hope that after, um, today, you can take
Speaker 0: this presentation and kinda go through it more in more
Speaker 0: detail.
Speaker 0: We'll just kinda hit the highlights today, but, um, there's
Speaker 0: a lot to go through, so you can kinda take
Speaker 0: your time later on to kinda go through the things
Speaker 0: that we're talking about today.
Speaker 0: OK, let's do a quick Participant, uh, audience participation real
Speaker 0: quick.
Speaker 0: So if you would, wouldn't mind, let's, um, you can
Speaker 0: use your phone or you can actually click if you're
Speaker 0: on the presentation itself.
Speaker 0: You can click on a form in the center.
Speaker 0: Phone is fine too.
Speaker 0: I just have two questions for you.
Speaker 0: If you wouldn't mind just kinda throwing it in a
Speaker 0: voluntary, uh, of course, only you don't have to participate.
Speaker 0: So the first question is, in one word, how would
Speaker 0: you describe your current feelings about the state of youth
Speaker 0: mental health in relation to digital tech technology?
Speaker 0: So that's number one And the second one Is in
Speaker 0: one word, how would you describe your current feelings?
Speaker 0: Uh, with regarding your mental health as it relates to
Speaker 0: digital technology, OK, I'm just gonna give you a second
Speaker 0: to throw in your word wherever you're at, whatever comes
Speaker 0: up for you, please just go ahead and throw that
Speaker 0: in there.
Speaker 0: And just give us a few seconds to let the
Speaker 0: results, um, I don't think you can click on these
Speaker 0: results.
Speaker 0: This is actually for me, but I'll show you the
Speaker 0: results in real time right here.
Speaker 1: I just wanna add, we see some people putting in
Speaker 1: the chat too, which is great, and I think those
Speaker 1: words in the chat articulate a lot of what the
Speaker 1: words that are popping up on the screen are also.
Speaker 0: Yeah, I appreciate that.
Speaker 0: Yes, please feel free to jump in and chat.
Speaker 0: I, I, we will do our best to kind of
Speaker 0: manage that.
Speaker 0: There's also a Q&A, um, panel that you can jump
Speaker 0: into.
Speaker 0: Worried, this is a word, uh, cloud, of course, so
Speaker 0: the thing, if the words are closely matched, then they
Speaker 0: will kind of get bigger, and the things that are
Speaker 0: a little bit different enough and they will kind of
Speaker 0: have be their own separate word.
Speaker 0: So as far as youth mental health, overwhelmed, worried, detrimental,
Speaker 0: curious, scared, scary.
Speaker 0: Appreciate that pessimistic, saturated.
Speaker 0: Let me jump to the next one.
Speaker 0: The next one is about kind of your mental health
Speaker 0: regarding these things.
Speaker 0: Some similarities there.
Speaker 0: Annoyed, uh, I can, I can respect that.
Speaker 0: Overwhelmed, fine, tired, anxious, apathetic, balancing, complicated, cautious.
Speaker 0: Yeah, great.
Speaker 0: Thank you for your thoughts.
Speaker 0: Please feel free to keep um adding to that.
Speaker 0: And I will, uh, what I, what I will do
Speaker 0: is after this presentation, I'll come take a screenshot of
Speaker 0: that, those, um, word clouds, and I'll put them in
Speaker 0: the presentation as well, OK?
Speaker 0: All right.
Speaker 0: Kind of a history of where we're at today.
Speaker 0: If you have not read Bowling Alone by Robert Putnam,
Speaker 0: I have it right here, and um there's a link
Speaker 0: to the actual book and then his seminal article on
Speaker 0: this.
Speaker 0: Um, and actually, you can actually click on the, uh,
Speaker 0: the pick and then the links that I kind of
Speaker 0: mentioned earlier.
Speaker 0: But let me just give you a high level, um.
Speaker 0: Backstory to kind of where we're at today, all right?
Speaker 0: So.
Speaker 0: Robert Putnam was kind of one of the first ones
Speaker 0: to talk about, to kind of really go into depth
Speaker 0: in researching social capital, um, networks, trust, norms of reciprocity
Speaker 0: that support cooperation and well-being, um, and I'm gonna go
Speaker 0: through this rela relatively quickly, all right, everyone?
Speaker 0: So please feel free to, to throw your questions and
Speaker 0: comments.
Speaker 0: I'd love to hear from all of you.
Speaker 0: US commu uh communities were historically highly interconnected.
Speaker 0: Clubs, churches, PTA unions, informal gatherings, that was just the
Speaker 0: norm a long time ago.
Speaker 0: These connections will linked to better health outcomes, lower crime,
Speaker 0: stronger education systems, more effective democratic participation.
Speaker 0: Things started changing in the 60s and 70s, decline across
Speaker 0: multiple domains of civic life, voting, political participation decreased, attendance
Speaker 0: at community meetings, including churches, um, a lot of these
Speaker 0: organizations decreased, membership in civic organizations decreased, volunteering decreased.
Speaker 0: Informal connection also declined, just gathering with each other, standing
Speaker 0: with each other on the, uh, on your, in your
Speaker 0: yard, talking to each other, gathering on people's porches, that
Speaker 0: sort of thing.
Speaker 0: Fewer people socialize with neighbors, fewer close confidants, increased social
Speaker 0: isolation.
Speaker 0: So, uh, this idea of bowling alone.
Speaker 0: Bowling leagues were one of the huge things that were
Speaker 0: happening back in the 50s, um, was just kind of
Speaker 0: a thing that people did and that's where they had
Speaker 0: a lot of community.
Speaker 0: People engaged in activities, but increasingly, they do so individually.
Speaker 0: So this changing in that community into this idea of
Speaker 0: bowling alone.
Speaker 0: shift from collective participation to individual participation.
Speaker 0: Activity is still there, but the shared experience and relational
Speaker 0: depth is missing or was beginning to start to start
Speaker 0: to, to shift a little bit.
Speaker 0: Thick to thin relationships, this shift, traditional groups involved, uh,
Speaker 0: they face to face interactions, ongoing relationships, mutual obligation, newer
Speaker 0: forms of connection are individualized, low commitment, symbolic rather than
Speaker 0: relational.
Speaker 0: Symbolic just means, um, in this particular case that they're
Speaker 0: actually weren't they weren't exactly a real part of these
Speaker 0: groups, they just say they were a part of these
Speaker 0: groups.
Speaker 0: Um, you can kind of think about how Um, people
Speaker 0: these days say they're part of a cause, but they
Speaker 0: may not be actually participants or actually, um, real life,
Speaker 0: um, scheduling these activities in their lives.
Speaker 0: And rise of large organizations where member, uh, members support
Speaker 0: a cause but do not know one another, you can
Speaker 0: kind of imagine that in social media and kind of
Speaker 0: all the, the, the Facebook groups that are out there,
Speaker 0: that sort of thing.
Speaker 0: Decline in trust and belonging.
Speaker 0: Uh, social trust declined significantly in the in the 1960s
Speaker 0: was about at 58%.
Speaker 0: In the 1990s, that was my heyday, uh, growing up
Speaker 0: in high school, but it went down to about 37%.
Speaker 0: Obviously this, um, these increased experience of disconnection, distrust, and
Speaker 0: then reduced shared identity.
Speaker 0: Key drivers in disconnection, time pressures, workforce changes, less time
Speaker 0: available for community involvement, changes in family structure, fewer marriages,
Speaker 0: more more instability, fewer shared routines, mobility, suburbanization, of course,
Speaker 0: uh that, uh, kind of that move into the suburbs,
Speaker 0: less rootedness in local communities, technology changes in leisure, television,
Speaker 0: air conditioning, even dishwashers, all those sorts of things kind
Speaker 0: of created.
Speaker 0: Convenience and comfort over connection.
Speaker 0: Television later and then in, in our particular case today,
Speaker 0: we'll talk about digital media in a, in a little
Speaker 0: bit, but shifted time towards individual um consumption.
Speaker 0: Communities became broader but more superficial.
Speaker 0: Generational shifts, the so-called, uh, greatest generation, there was a,
Speaker 0: uh, highly engaged in ships civic life.
Speaker 0: Later generations showed steady declines in participation, and then, uh,
Speaker 0: civic habits were not consistently transmitted across generations, and I,
Speaker 0: I personally feel all of this.
Speaker 0: Post 9/11, there was in uh, Putnam talks about a
Speaker 0: rebound, so to speak, but it was not the one
Speaker 0: that he was, would hope from an incident like 9/11.
Speaker 0: I remember that very clearly.
Speaker 0: I was, um, at my, I was, uh, in my
Speaker 0: early twenties at my first job uh teaching in Urbana
Speaker 0: Middle School.
Speaker 0: Um, but the rebound from 9/11 was partial and uneven.
Speaker 0: 9/11 increased civic awareness, especially among youth.
Speaker 0: Youth exposed during formative years showed increase in politics, civic
Speaker 0: engagement, but the effects were uneven.
Speaker 0: More advantaged youth increased engagement, but less advantaged youth became
Speaker 0: more distracted.
Speaker 0: Inequity in social connection again.
Speaker 0: For those who have resources, it's easier to connect, as
Speaker 0: you can imagine.
Speaker 0: And then less connected, lower resource youth, um, lower resource
Speaker 0: youth or have, it's harder to connect if you, if
Speaker 0: you're in that particular population.
Speaker 0: And then widening disparities in opportunity, well-being, social belonging.
Speaker 0: And the last thing I'll say, as far as um
Speaker 0: Putnam describes it, where we are now.
Speaker 0: So the decline in social connection was widely recognized, but
Speaker 0: it's, it's clear that this was, is kind of the
Speaker 0: state that we've come from, um, and the, the problem
Speaker 0: remains largely unresolved.
Speaker 0: Rebuilding connection requires relational, uh, community-based efforts and not just
Speaker 0: institutional policy level solutions.
Speaker 0: I'll talk about all those in a little bit.
Speaker 0: But the bottom line is over the past 150-60 years
Speaker 0: we didn't just change how we spent our time, we
Speaker 0: changed how we related to each other.
Speaker 0: We moved from shared relational community life to more individual
Speaker 0: disconnected experiences.
Speaker 0: That shift is a backdrop for everything we're seeing now
Speaker 0: in youth mental health.
Speaker 0: We're all a part of this.
Speaker 0: It's not just about our youth, and it's it's easy
Speaker 0: to blame the huge tech companies and there's a lot
Speaker 0: of blame to go there, um, of course, and these,
Speaker 0: and all these apps and, um, all these technological resources
Speaker 0: that they have, but we were all a part of
Speaker 0: this.
Speaker 0: Some of us have allowed it to happen, some of
Speaker 0: us were complicit in actually, uh, uh, doing this sort
Speaker 0: of thing.
Speaker 0: And so, I would just wanna kind of start with
Speaker 0: the fact that we're all a part of it.
Speaker 0: Um, at the very bottom, I'm gonna bring it up
Speaker 0: here.
Speaker 0: This is a seminal article from, um, Robert Putnam, and
Speaker 0: then here's his book, and then here's the article on
Speaker 0: 9/11, and then this is kind of his most recent
Speaker 0: take from 2020.
Speaker 0: This is from the Harvard 2024 from the Harvard Gazette.
Speaker 0: OK.
Speaker 0: That's kind of the bigger cultural shift.
Speaker 0: Let me just talk about real quick, um, kind of
Speaker 0: where we've come from.
Speaker 0: I'm not gonna talk about the entire technological timeline because
Speaker 0: there's too much to talk about, but I'm gonna specifically
Speaker 0: talk about social media and then, um, generative AI.
Speaker 0: Does anyone remember Friendster?
Speaker 0: I remember hearing about it, but that's all.
Speaker 0: I don't, that new, that, but that was basically the
Speaker 0: first social media slash curation AI that we contacted.
Speaker 0: Um, Tristan Harris from the Center for Humane, uh, Technology,
Speaker 0: which is where I got this timeline from, talks about
Speaker 0: this idea of first contact.
Speaker 0: If you can kinda look in the background.
Speaker 0: Um, that's a screenshot from the movie, The Arrival, um,
Speaker 0: kind of contact with, uh, an alien, uh, species, and
Speaker 0: so he kind of, he kind of, uh, relates this
Speaker 0: to that because this is the first time that we
Speaker 0: had a contact with this sort of, uh, artificial intelligence
Speaker 0: that, um, is basically alien to kind of what our
Speaker 0: experiences were before that.
Speaker 0: Here are the stories on the left hand side here.
Speaker 0: This is what we were promised with social media.
Speaker 0: We're give everyone a voice.
Speaker 0: Connect with their friends, join like-minded communities, enable small, uh,
Speaker 0: medium businesses to reach customers, and all those things.
Speaker 0: We're true.
Speaker 0: Symptoms.
Speaker 0: Addiction, disinformation, mental health, censorship, and speech.
Speaker 0: Here are the incentives that drove those companies to try
Speaker 0: to steal um our time and, and our time and
Speaker 0: engagement.
Speaker 0: So the incentive for those social media companies at the
Speaker 0: time was for the race for engagement, for your attention.
Speaker 0: I remember, um, uh, watching the social dilemma and the
Speaker 0: uh CEO of Netflix at the time said, Their competition
Speaker 0: was not against other streaming platforms or social media platforms
Speaker 0: or anything.
Speaker 0: Their, their competition was against your sleep.
Speaker 0: Imagine that.
Speaker 0: So, so the purpose and the, the, the thing that
Speaker 0: they were trying to fight against was your attention and
Speaker 0: your time off of their platforms.
Speaker 0: They wanted to get that, uh, at all costs.
Speaker 0: And so, um, Tristan Harris calls this the idea of
Speaker 0: race to the bottom of the brainstem designed for all
Speaker 0: the things that I'm sure at this point you have
Speaker 0: heard about slot machine rewards, this idea of kind of
Speaker 0: unexpected, um, randomized rewards, infinite scrolling, Doom scrolling was created
Speaker 0: through social media, social comparison, personalized media feeds, beautification filters.
Speaker 0: I could talk about all these things all day.
Speaker 0: Extreme voices and outrage, those are the things that are,
Speaker 0: and then not even just extreme voices and outrage, but
Speaker 0: those are the things that are monetized the most, right?
Speaker 0: Disappearing messages, Snapchat when it first came out, maximum virality,
Speaker 0: like that's what, uh, people were trying to, as far
Speaker 0: as the users were concerned, those are the, the, the,
Speaker 0: the purpose of them trying to come on is to
Speaker 0: get many people to kind of come on to their
Speaker 0: particular sites and their, their particular pages as possible.
Speaker 0: And the outcomes, information overload, addiction, or you can kind
Speaker 0: of read through it, deepfakes, breakdown of democracy, fake news,
Speaker 0: capture of the institutions.
Speaker 0: November 30th, 2022, it feels like a millennia ago, but
Speaker 0: it was not that long ago.
Speaker 0: This is when chat GBT released to the public.
Speaker 0: Um, some people call this the CG boundary.
Speaker 0: Basically, C as far as an AI, the AI world.
Speaker 0: So C means curation.
Speaker 0: There's a, it's shifted from curation to generative AI.
Speaker 0: So November 30th was kind of that date.
Speaker 0: Uh, chat GPT, and here are the promises that we
Speaker 0: were sold not long ago, right?
Speaker 0: Here are the stories.
Speaker 0: We, uh, AI will make us more efficient.
Speaker 0: AI will help us code faster.
Speaker 0: AI AI will solve, uh, we'll find cures for cancer,
Speaker 0: solve climate change, increase GDP, and all those things are
Speaker 0: true.
Speaker 0: This is the hard part about these technologies.
Speaker 0: Symptoms creating um defects as well as now uh defects
Speaker 0: in the worst case porn and and a very explicit
Speaker 0: acts even with our kids.
Speaker 0: uh AI weakening democracy, fraud crime, take our jobs and
Speaker 0: our IP perpetuates bias.
Speaker 0: We can talk about that all day too as far
Speaker 0: as kind of the algorithmic, uh.
Speaker 0: Programming that happens from the creators of these particular platforms.
Speaker 0: The incentives, what was the incentives here?
Speaker 0: Race to roll out better capabilities and ultimately AGI, uh,
Speaker 0: artificial general intelligence.
Speaker 0: I'm not gonna talk about that, but it really produced,
Speaker 0: um, very unsafe.
Speaker 0: Uh, very unsafe, very uncarefully created AIs, right?
Speaker 0: Race to, to take shortcuts if we don't do this,
Speaker 0: the argument that they would always say, and you hear
Speaker 0: this quite often is that if we don't do it,
Speaker 0: someone else or some other country will, and then we'll
Speaker 0: be at a disadvantage.
Speaker 0: So here are the outcomes from kind of where we're
Speaker 0: at with this next second, uh, contact with AI.
Speaker 0: Virtual assistants, of course, some of the, you look through
Speaker 0: this list, I there's, there's mixes between good and bad
Speaker 0: things, right?
Speaker 0: As far as just kind of um things that are,
Speaker 0: are would be considered uh resources and things that would
Speaker 0: be considered maybe dangerous drug discovery, 10x scientific uh progress,
Speaker 0: tireless tutors, GDP growth, breakdown of truth though centralization of
Speaker 0: power, loss of meaningful work, attachment disorders we could talk
Speaker 0: about that too, uh, loss of critical thinking, which is
Speaker 0: in education is probably one of my biggest concerns in
Speaker 0: all of this.
Speaker 0: Um, In the Center of Humane, uh, Center for Humane
Speaker 0: Technology, like they're, they're really trying to figure out how
Speaker 0: we can do this, um, and what is the narrow
Speaker 0: path for us to move forward through all of these
Speaker 0: changes specifically with these technologies that are unbelievably powerful, and
Speaker 0: then they, they can do amazing things, but they can
Speaker 0: also be amazingly risky and dangerous as far as some
Speaker 0: of the outcomes, OK?
Speaker 0: And here at the bottom is kind of, you can
Speaker 0: click on that, that'll take you to the Center for
Speaker 0: Humane Technology, their website.
Speaker 0: You're one of the people I follow and trust.
Speaker 0: I'm gonna hand over to Becca.
Speaker 0: Uh, at this point, she's just gonna talk about the
Speaker 0: 10 critical considerations for youth development and mental health in
Speaker 0: the digital world.
Speaker 0: Um, let me just scroll down real quick.
Speaker 0: At the very bottom, which we're not gonna talk about,
Speaker 0: I just wanted to, um, we, we kind of synthesize
Speaker 0: these recommendations from the theorists and theoretical orientations that are
Speaker 0: at the bottom of this list, and so there's, these
Speaker 0: are things that I think we teach in our program
Speaker 0: quite often.
Speaker 0: They're very popular.
Speaker 0: I think they've endured the test of time.
Speaker 0: And so these kind of come from that, but uh
Speaker 0: Becca, I'm gonna hand it over to you.
Speaker 1: All right, so, um, I think about, um.
Speaker 1: So much of this in context of youth mental health,
Speaker 1: and just because that's the world I'm living in, and
Speaker 1: even as Tang was talking about that, I was thinking,
Speaker 1: um, one, when it comes to relationships, um, that so
Speaker 1: often today, one of the presenting concerns that I see,
Speaker 1: um, is so often people are, they feel so disconnected,
Speaker 1: they feel so alone.
Speaker 1: And, um, you know, we see so often that people
Speaker 1: are turning to things like chat GPT, uh, for therapy.
Speaker 1: Now, I, I don't worry personally as a therapist that
Speaker 1: people are going to long term turn to chat GPT
Speaker 1: as a therapist just because, at least right now, it's
Speaker 1: a very bad therapist because all it ever does is
Speaker 1: affirm.
Speaker 1: Um, it doesn't have the, the skills for, um, pushing
Speaker 1: back at all, but certainly there's, uh, that's a whole
Speaker 1: other conversation, but it just, there's a lot of things.
Speaker 1: It's a really good tool for the things that it
Speaker 1: does well, but there are certainly concerns there too.
Speaker 1: Um, I think when we're looking at kids, um, I
Speaker 1: think it's really important to think about um that youth,
Speaker 1: uh, they're developing through it.
Speaker 1: And so like Tang was talking about, I'm also a
Speaker 1: child of, you know, the 80s and 90s, and so,
Speaker 1: you know, I, I existed before technology, which is weird
Speaker 1: for kids today to think about, but they are developing
Speaker 1: through it.
Speaker 1: And so, like, you know, I, I had pre-technology existence,
Speaker 1: and so I know how to live life without it.
Speaker 1: Technology is here for these kids, and they are developing
Speaker 1: through it.
Speaker 1: And so how they process all of this is going
Speaker 1: to be different than how I, as a middle-aged woman,
Speaker 1: process it, um, and that is going to change how
Speaker 1: we assess, how we interpret, and how we intervene.
Speaker 1: And so, we have to keep those things in mind
Speaker 1: that they have not lived in a world where this
Speaker 1: technology does not exist, um.
Speaker 1: And so, it, it is not just um using the
Speaker 1: technology, it is developing, it is a a part of
Speaker 1: a consistent uh and persistent part of the world that
Speaker 1: that they are in, um, and so, Uh, keeping that
Speaker 1: in mind, um, We want to make sure that we're
Speaker 1: not just um looking at individual sys uh symptoms, but
Speaker 1: we're looking at the full context and, and we're thinking
Speaker 1: about things.
Speaker 1: I think it's really easy to go full like just
Speaker 1: um cutting this out, but the reality is I tell
Speaker 1: people all the time technology is here to stay.
Speaker 1: And so, how do we live in the world where
Speaker 1: technology is and how do we create safeguards, and also,
Speaker 1: um, Uh, you know, uh, understand that this technology is
Speaker 1: here to stay, and so we, we teach kids to
Speaker 1: live in a world where technology is, and, um, help
Speaker 1: them to be safe in the world where technology is
Speaker 1: as well.
Speaker 1: Um, I should have put on my glasses.
Speaker 1: Uh, so, the second part of that is, uh, we
Speaker 1: have this cognitive development, uh, shapes digital interpretation, and so
Speaker 1: youth cognitive development influences how they interpret digital content, and
Speaker 1: that limited, uh, abstract reasoning can increase their susceptibility to
Speaker 1: misinformation.
Speaker 1: And so, for kids, this is their whole world, and
Speaker 1: I think for me that's probably one of the hardest
Speaker 1: things to grasp because in my mind, like, um, you
Speaker 1: know, like I look and say this could be a
Speaker 1: bot, this, uh, you know, like this is online, this
Speaker 1: can be whatever, and for kids, like, you take away
Speaker 1: their phone, um, you know, that connection to the outside
Speaker 1: world that really can be a meltdown situation, um, or
Speaker 1: for me, I could leave my car or my phone
Speaker 1: in my car and walk away and Like, uh, it's,
Speaker 1: it's inconvenient when I need my two-factor authentication, which is
Speaker 1: all the time now, but like, other than that, that's
Speaker 1: not the end of the world.
Speaker 1: Um, but for kids, this really can feel like sort
Speaker 1: of end of the world, um, you know, they're very
Speaker 1: emotional reasoning, um, and so I think we have to
Speaker 1: be very aware of what this does mean for them.
Speaker 1: Uh, in the confines of this is their connection, and
Speaker 1: so, like, if you have, I was just talking to
Speaker 1: somebody last week where they were talking about, um, you
Speaker 1: know, everybody at their kids' table had had a phone
Speaker 1: and their kid was the one kid without a phone,
Speaker 1: and not having that connection, you know, they're sitting at
Speaker 1: a table where everybody else had that connection and their
Speaker 1: kid is the one kid who doesn't have that connection.
Speaker 1: And so, you know, as a parent, then how do
Speaker 1: you make that decision, like, what, what do we do?
Speaker 1: And, and how do we have that connection when this
Speaker 1: is the connection that kids have today.
Speaker 1: And so, um, I think The other side of that
Speaker 1: is, um, Also just being mindful of what having a
Speaker 1: phone really looks like in practicality too, like, um, Especially
Speaker 1: when I say phone, I guess I, I, I'm sort
Speaker 1: of assuming smartphone, but like understanding that if your kid
Speaker 1: has a smartphone, they have unfettered access to everything, and
Speaker 1: so they have unfettered access to pornography, they have unfettered
Speaker 1: access, you know, to chatbots.
Speaker 1: They have unfettered access, you know, there was a, a
Speaker 1: case, uh, in the news, uh, there's been increasing cases
Speaker 1: where you have seen.
Speaker 1: Kids who are talking to character AI who has encouraged
Speaker 1: them to die by suicide, and so you see more
Speaker 1: and more of these cases where um These, uh, these
Speaker 1: cases are, um, you know, these kids have this access
Speaker 1: where they're developing these whole other worlds, these fantasies online,
Speaker 1: um, that are taking place, and so again, we can't
Speaker 1: just say all or nothing technology cause technology is here
Speaker 1: to stay, but also being very mindful about what does
Speaker 1: that mean, what does that look like in today's world,
Speaker 1: and how do we put safeguards in place without just
Speaker 1: completely cutting it off too.
Speaker 1: Um, and then, thank you, uh, identified development is now
Speaker 1: digitally, uh, mediated, and so, Just being mindful that, uh.
Speaker 1: Everything.
Speaker 1: When we are thinking about adolescence, when we're thinking about
Speaker 1: digital platforms, um, that this process is more visible and,
Speaker 1: um, Mm Just what does that mean for kids today,
Speaker 1: um, to have that vulnerability, um.
Speaker 1: And I, I think about this, where kids have so
Speaker 1: much pressure about everything online, and they also, to me,
Speaker 1: I, I'm big into brain development and thinking about where
Speaker 1: kids are and um just working in middle school and
Speaker 1: high school specifically, and thinking about the long term ramifications
Speaker 1: that they, their brains just are not wired for the
Speaker 1: decisions that they're making when it comes to Um, the
Speaker 1: things that they are posting online, um, or even just
Speaker 1: sending to a friend, you know, they're putting these things
Speaker 1: like Tang mentioned, you know, especially when Snapchat first came
Speaker 1: out, that was a big problem.
Speaker 1: I saw a lot of kids were posting things on
Speaker 1: Snapchat and not having an awareness that people could screenshot
Speaker 1: this and it could come back later and sort of
Speaker 1: haunt them, you know, years down the line, um, for
Speaker 1: things that they put out.
Speaker 1: Um, I've seen a case, uh, I used to use
Speaker 1: as a case study with my students where somebody was
Speaker 1: fired for something that he tweeted and when he was
Speaker 1: in middle school.
Speaker 1: Um, you know, some slurs that later was fired.
Speaker 1: He got a very prestigious job.
Speaker 1: It was in the news.
Speaker 1: Somebody went back on his Twitter and um was like,
Speaker 1: hey, is this you?
Speaker 1: And, you know, tagged his employer and he was fired
Speaker 1: from it.
Speaker 1: And so, just, you know, these kids are making these
Speaker 1: decisions, and when they're young and not having this awareness
Speaker 1: of what this vulnerability can mean years down the road,
Speaker 1: and so, Being mindful of that, and, and as adults
Speaker 1: having those conversations, I think that's sometimes hard cause I
Speaker 1: think, you know, kids don't wanna have those conversations.
Speaker 1: I think, you know, that's the thing when I talk
Speaker 1: to parents, like when my kid doesn't want to talk
Speaker 1: to me about this, I'm like, I'm sure they don't.
Speaker 1: Um, and also this is part of the responsibility of
Speaker 1: having the cell phone, you know, this is part of
Speaker 1: this responsibility of having technology is like, we're gonna have
Speaker 1: this conversation.
Speaker 1: Um, you know, as, as a child in my house,
Speaker 1: we're going to have the conversation, and also you're not
Speaker 1: going to have unlimited access.
Speaker 1: This phone is not going to go to your bedroom
Speaker 1: at night, you know, we're going to have a docking
Speaker 1: station that, you know, we're going to have some ground
Speaker 1: rules about what does it mean to have this cell
Speaker 1: phone.
Speaker 1: Um, I'm going to have your passwords, things like that
Speaker 1: that are just reasonable expectations.
Speaker 1: And so, and then as you age, some of those
Speaker 1: guardrails come off a little bit, so that when they
Speaker 1: do leave the house eventually, they hopefully have some good
Speaker 1: guidelines in place for Um, you know, they don't just
Speaker 1: kind of fall off the wagon when they, uh, get
Speaker 1: to be 18 and they move out, but they have
Speaker 1: some plans in place for what does this look like
Speaker 1: down the road.
Speaker 1: Um, Then social learning is digitally amplified in spaces where
Speaker 1: peers, influencers, and algorithms model behaviors that can rapidly shape
Speaker 1: norms, uh, attitudes and risk taking.
Speaker 1: One of the things that just so concerns me about
Speaker 1: this, especially when we think about influencers, is just this
Speaker 1: idea that kids do not, and adults too, to be
Speaker 1: honest, do not have this awareness often that influencers are
Speaker 1: just that, they're influencers, and so often what they're influencing
Speaker 1: is not real, it's perception.
Speaker 1: Um, and I, I follow an influencer.
Speaker 1: I love her.
Speaker 1: She's a doctor, and I will never forget she posted
Speaker 1: a video one time about somebody that she is friends
Speaker 1: with who is also an influencer.
Speaker 1: And uh she said this woman uh goes to, I
Speaker 1: don't know what she promotes, but anyway, she does these
Speaker 1: activities with her kids, I guess, and she gets an
Speaker 1: Airbnb and she always has a spotless home, and the
Speaker 1: nanny brings her kids to the Airbnb.
Speaker 1: They do cooking, crafts, whatever, and then the nanny takes
Speaker 1: the kids home and they have a maid service come
Speaker 1: in and clean the Airbnb, and, you know, for everybody
Speaker 1: who follows her online, it looks like she has this
Speaker 1: really spotless house, whatever.
Speaker 1: And everything looks great.
Speaker 1: And then there's so many people are comparing themselves to
Speaker 1: this person because they're like, I'm not good enough, you
Speaker 1: know, my house is not this clean, and, you know,
Speaker 1: all of the things, um, and this woman has a
Speaker 1: nanny, and she has a maid service in an Airbnb
Speaker 1: that, you know, is able, she's able to keep everything
Speaker 1: meticulous because it's fake.
Speaker 1: Because this and, and she has money obviously to, to
Speaker 1: maintain this image, um, and so I, I think it's
Speaker 1: so important to keep in mind and to talk to
Speaker 1: kids about not just cause you see something online does
Speaker 1: not make it real.
Speaker 1: Um, I see that all the time, you know, in
Speaker 1: my first life as an educator, I saw that all
Speaker 1: the time in teacher spaces where people were posting online,
Speaker 1: I'm doing this with my students, I'm doing that with
Speaker 1: my students, and, you know, I'm sure there's times where
Speaker 1: those things were true, especially in the earlier years of
Speaker 1: the internet, but as things have evolved, the more I'm
Speaker 1: like, there's no way, like, there's no way you're doing
Speaker 1: all these.
Speaker 1: Things that you're doing, because if you are, then you,
Speaker 1: you're never teaching.
Speaker 1: Like, that's just not the reality of education in America.
Speaker 1: And so, like, you have to keep in mind that
Speaker 1: people are influencing and that doesn't make it real.
Speaker 1: But I think, uh, you know, as an adult, I
Speaker 1: have the rational brain, you know, my, my prefrontal frontal
Speaker 1: cortex is developed enough to tell me.
Speaker 1: That's probably not real.
Speaker 1: But if you are a 1213, 14 year old, or
Speaker 1: even younger, to be honest, cause kids are getting on
Speaker 1: social media, younger and younger, they don't have the brainpower
Speaker 1: to tell them that.
Speaker 1: And so I think, again, as adults, that's partly where
Speaker 1: we come in to say, you know, you see things
Speaker 1: online that doesn't make it real.
Speaker 1: Other people, they, it looks Like this is true.
Speaker 1: That doesn't make it real.
Speaker 1: Um, and so I think it's a reminder for all
Speaker 1: of us, one, just cause I see something online doesn't
Speaker 1: make it true, but also just to keep things in,
Speaker 1: in perspective.
Speaker 1: Um, and I, I was telling Tang, I had a
Speaker 1: story of this in my own life where I took
Speaker 1: a selfie one day and it was just like one
Speaker 1: of the worst days of my life, um, and, uh,
Speaker 1: Uh, it was just something like I, I was having
Speaker 1: a rough day and I just was had this moment
Speaker 1: of peace, and so I took a picture and was
Speaker 1: just sort of reminding myself and putting it out there,
Speaker 1: like just peace, everything, it, it'll be OK, and it,
Speaker 1: and it ended up being OK.
Speaker 1: Um, and somebody, uh, posted a comment that said something
Speaker 1: to the effect of, I'm glad everything is going so
Speaker 1: well for you, and I just was like, in that
Speaker 1: moment I was like, wow, what a powerful thought about
Speaker 1: how little people really truly know about what's going on
Speaker 1: in your life unless they actually talk about you.
Speaker 1: didn't talk to you, but I think that goes back
Speaker 1: to what Tang was saying earlier of that sort of
Speaker 1: mile wide inch deep, you know, we have this really
Speaker 1: surface level connection, but if people are not actually engaging
Speaker 1: with you, if they're not actually talking to you.
Speaker 1: Then they don't really know what's going on.
Speaker 1: They don't really have that connection, and I think that's
Speaker 1: one of the things that social media, you know, there's
Speaker 1: a lot of good things.
Speaker 1: I'm in contact today with a lot of people I
Speaker 1: probably wouldn't be in contact with if it weren't for
Speaker 1: social media.
Speaker 1: And it fosters a lot of fake connection, um, and,
Speaker 1: and a lot of very surfacey connection.
Speaker 1: And so I think we just have to be very
Speaker 1: mindful of that, and especially when we're talking to kids,
Speaker 1: um, and, and encouraging them about their usage of social
Speaker 1: media to keep that in mind that just because they
Speaker 1: see things doesn't make it real.
Speaker 1: Um, oh, you're Uh OK, thanks.
Speaker 1: All right, um, that belonging attachment comparison, I think that
Speaker 1: kind of goes back into that.
Speaker 1: What I was just talking about is people want to
Speaker 1: fit in, they want to belong, and I think that
Speaker 1: comparison thing is part of that is when we're constantly
Speaker 1: comparing ourselves to what other people have, it's really hard
Speaker 1: to feel like I fit in because we perceive that
Speaker 1: everybody else has.
Speaker 1: Um, I'll never forget I did a middle school group,
Speaker 1: um, and one day I had a kiddo who came
Speaker 1: in individually, and she said, everybody else in this group
Speaker 1: belongs, and I don't.
Speaker 1: Um, and I, we talked about it, and like, you
Speaker 1: know, like talking to other people, letting them know how
Speaker 1: she felt, and then the next day another person in
Speaker 1: that group came in and said the exact same thing.
Speaker 1: I feel like the rest of them feel like, you
Speaker 1: know, they all belong and I don't, and then I
Speaker 1: kid you not, the next day another kid in that
Speaker 1: group came and by the end of the week, almost
Speaker 1: every kid in that group had come in to me
Speaker 1: and said they felt like everybody else fit in, and
Speaker 1: they're the one who's, you know, stood out.
Speaker 1: They're the, the, they're the outlier, they're the one who
Speaker 1: didn't fit in.
Speaker 1: And so I think that desire to, um, to attach
Speaker 1: that desire to belong is so huge, and also we're
Speaker 1: always comparing, we're always, you know, looking for how do
Speaker 1: I fit in, how do I compare with others, and,
Speaker 1: you know, we tend to look at ourselves in the
Speaker 1: harshest light.
Speaker 1: We tend to feel like I am the one who
Speaker 1: is the weakest link.
Speaker 1: I'm the one who doesn't belong.
Speaker 1: Um.
Speaker 1: And so, uh, one of the things with social media
Speaker 1: is kids do often find, uh, a lot of, uh,
Speaker 1: rejection.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of comparison.
Speaker 1: They look at others, and again, you know, because there
Speaker 1: is so much information, um, and misinformation out there on
Speaker 1: the internet, there's a lot of rejection.
Speaker 1: Kids, we know this with, uh, social media, they are
Speaker 1: a lot more likely to be mean.
Speaker 1: Because they don't have that instant reaction.
Speaker 1: So if I say something mean to somebody in person,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna see the reaction on their face.
Speaker 1: But if I say it, type it out on my
Speaker 1: phone, I don't have to see how it affects them.
Speaker 1: And so it doesn't affect me as much to be
Speaker 1: that mean.
Speaker 1: Um, and so it doesn't feel as much, uh, for
Speaker 1: me as a person doing the rejecting.
Speaker 1: But for the person who feels that rejection, one of
Speaker 1: the problems is they never get away from it.
Speaker 1: And so they're taking that rejection home with them night
Speaker 1: after night after night.
Speaker 1: And the problem is they may never ever get away
Speaker 1: with it.
Speaker 1: So, you know, back in the 80s and 90s when
Speaker 1: Tang and I were kids, if we got bullied in
Speaker 1: school, well, we went home.
Speaker 1: It was a safe place.
Speaker 1: Now, kids don't have a safe place because they have
Speaker 1: their phones with them consistently.
Speaker 1: And so it might be 3 or 4 o'clock in
Speaker 1: the morning and they're still facing that rejection.
Speaker 1: And so they have this constant barrage of rejection.
Speaker 1: And so, um, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1: So this anxiety disorder is higher than it's ever been,
Speaker 1: and I think that is, um, you know, definitely I,
Speaker 1: I think that really plays into that is there is
Speaker 1: a lot of, um, You know, kids are very anxious
Speaker 1: because they feel constantly like they are going to be
Speaker 1: rejected, and I think there's a lot of validity to
Speaker 1: that.
Speaker 1: I think they feel a lot of that online, and
Speaker 1: they don't know who they're going to be connected with,
Speaker 1: because the person who is nice to them at school
Speaker 1: might be mean to them online later, um, and they
Speaker 1: might not, they might not dislike them.
Speaker 1: They might just think it's funny because they're getting laughs
Speaker 1: online.
Speaker 1: Um, so it might not even, I mean, I hate
Speaker 1: to say it, but it might not even really be
Speaker 1: personal.
Speaker 1: It might just be that they're trying to get laughs
Speaker 1: from from other people.
Speaker 1: So, um, and so.
Speaker 1: You know, we're looking at this through attachment needs and
Speaker 1: through social uh social threat, not just symptoms, because this
Speaker 1: is, it really is a need, like we need other
Speaker 1: people, we need to belong, um, and I think sometimes
Speaker 1: it's really easy to sort of minimize this as a
Speaker 1: need for kids, um, and yet they really, they do
Speaker 1: have this as a need.
Speaker 1: They need to feel like they belong.
Speaker 1: All right, um, moral development is still emerging online.
Speaker 1: Um, again, that moral reasoning, the digital environments is introducing
Speaker 1: that complex ethical situation that often exceeds their developmental readiness
Speaker 1: for judgment and decision making, and so, you know, should
Speaker 1: they know better, you know, I think that's really hard
Speaker 1: to say.
Speaker 1: Their prefrontal cortex isn't yet developed, and so, um, I
Speaker 1: think this is where having these discussions come in is
Speaker 1: really handy.
Speaker 1: Schools are doing more with um classes that involve how
Speaker 1: to be ready for um digital learning, but I think,
Speaker 1: you know, definitely parents and therapists and, you know, just
Speaker 1: communities coming together and having these conversations is important too
Speaker 1: because we're putting a lot of power in kids' hands
Speaker 1: when we talk about technology.
Speaker 1: Um, and again, the technology is here to stay.
Speaker 1: I don't think the answer is ripping the technology away
Speaker 1: from kids and being like, nope, no more.
Speaker 1: Um, and I think technology can be really good, but
Speaker 1: I do think, you know, training them, how do we
Speaker 1: use this and having these honest conversations is also really
Speaker 1: helpful too.
Speaker 1: Um, Learning is socially and digitally motivated, and it is
Speaker 1: inherently social.
Speaker 1: Digital platforms are now function as primary environments where youth
Speaker 1: are guided by peers, creators, and artificial intelligence tools.
Speaker 1: In practice, ask youth, uh, ask where youth go for
Speaker 1: answers before positioning yourself as the expert.
Speaker 1: Um.
Speaker 1: Uh, you know, I think just uh talking to kids,
Speaker 1: figuring out like where do they go for answers.
Speaker 1: Uh, one of the things that's really interesting today is
Speaker 1: if you do talk to kids about where they go
Speaker 1: for answers, um, so often it is things like chat
Speaker 1: GPT.
Speaker 1: It is AI, you know, like they don't want to
Speaker 1: be perceived as stupid, and so, um, it, it is
Speaker 1: a lot easier to ask a bot than take that
Speaker 1: judgment, you know, because they want to belong.
Speaker 1: They don't, you know, that goes back to that comparison.
Speaker 1: And so, they want that connection, and so I can
Speaker 1: ask a robot.
Speaker 1: It's not gonna hurt my feelings, it's not gonna judge
Speaker 1: me, um, at least not yet.
Speaker 1: Um, and so, I can get that answer, and, um,
Speaker 1: uh, and I can actually come off reasonably smart sounding.
Speaker 1: It, it does get things wrong, but most of the
Speaker 1: time it's, uh, it, you know, for simple things anyway,
Speaker 1: it's usually does an OK job.
Speaker 1: And so, we wanna make sure, um, that we are
Speaker 1: having those questions with kiddos.
Speaker 1: Um, competence with mastery impact mental health, um, A sense
Speaker 1: of competence and mastery is critical for healthy development, and
Speaker 1: digital successes or failures can significantly influence confidence, motivation, and
Speaker 1: mental health in practice.
Speaker 1: Assess where you feel effective and where they feel inadequate
Speaker 1: online, and this is going to require a significant conversation
Speaker 1: because I think if you just had a surface level.
Speaker 1: Conversation, I think kids be like, yeah, I feel fine.
Speaker 1: Um, and so, I think it's gonna require a little
Speaker 1: bit of, like, tell me about this, tell me what
Speaker 1: this looks like for you.
Speaker 1: How do you use this, um, and, and digging in
Speaker 1: a little bit deeper than just sort of, uh, how
Speaker 1: do you feel, um, because kids just generally are gonna
Speaker 1: be like, yeah, I feel fine.
Speaker 1: Feels good.
Speaker 1: Um, technology simultaneously, uh, connects and harms, and this to
Speaker 1: me is one of the things that makes it so
Speaker 1: complex, um, because it does connect, you know, there is
Speaker 1: some connection here.
Speaker 1: So again, I don't think we can just take it
Speaker 1: away.
Speaker 1: I don't think we can just be like, nope, no
Speaker 1: more.
Speaker 1: Um, I, I think there are times where technology can
Speaker 1: be really good, and also it can create significant risk,
Speaker 1: um, and so at the same time, and so, um,
Speaker 1: That all or nothing about technology is sort of a
Speaker 1: dangerous um lens of just saying, well, we're just not
Speaker 1: going to use it or we're going to go whole
Speaker 1: hog again.
Speaker 1: I think it is really about having some ground rules.
Speaker 1: I think it really is having conversations about having some
Speaker 1: um guardrails and teaching kids how to use technology in
Speaker 1: a really healthy way.
Speaker 1: Um, that again, sort of scales up just like we
Speaker 1: do with anything, you know, you don't want a kid
Speaker 1: to just go from 0 to 100 on anything, and
Speaker 1: so we wanna practice a little, and then do a
Speaker 1: little bit more, and then do a little bit more,
Speaker 1: and so by the time that they leave home that
Speaker 1: they are ready and they're prepared, and I think that's
Speaker 1: the same with technology.
Speaker 1: Um, and then development is uneven and nonlinear, and to
Speaker 1: be honest, this is true with all things, right?
Speaker 1: Um, and so there's gonna be setbacks, there's gonna be,
Speaker 1: um, emotional maturity, there's gonna be critical thinking, um, there's
Speaker 1: gonna be times where they make mistakes, and then, you
Speaker 1: know, they're gonna fight about it, and then there's gonna
Speaker 1: be times where they come back and they're gonna be
Speaker 1: like, oh, you know what, actually, um, you were right
Speaker 1: about that.
Speaker 1: They might not say that for like 20 years, but,
Speaker 1: um, but they will eventually, hopefully.
Speaker 1: Um, they'll, they'll say it to me, they'll say it
Speaker 1: to the therapist, uh, they might not say it to
Speaker 1: you.
Speaker 1: Um, I'll tell you, uh, but they will, um, you
Speaker 1: know.
Speaker 1: Eventually they'll get there, that readiness to navigate, um, and
Speaker 1: so I think in practice that means the technical skill,
Speaker 1: I think kids have that, you know, they, they are
Speaker 1: savvy, they know how to do the thing, so it's
Speaker 1: not a matter of figuring out how to use the
Speaker 1: technology.
Speaker 1: Technically, they know that, they know that better than us,
Speaker 1: right?
Speaker 1: Um, but it is the, how do we be smart
Speaker 1: about it?
Speaker 1: How do we use this developmentally appropriately?
Speaker 1: How do we do this side of things?
Speaker 1: And also, you know, when, when they do mess up,
Speaker 1: how do we frame that in a way that is
Speaker 1: learning, you know, so that they can grow in the
Speaker 1: future, and how do they, how do we teach them
Speaker 1: in a way that helps them to understand?
Speaker 1: So it's not punitive as as it is developmental.
Speaker 0: Thanks, Becca.
Speaker 0: I'm gonna, um, jump in.
Speaker 0: We have about, I'm gonna, we have about 10 minutes
Speaker 0: and then I wanna just kind of leave some time
Speaker 0: for questions, um, practical responses.
Speaker 0: Uh, there's just no easy solutions with this, everyone, because
Speaker 0: it's so embedded in our lives, and our culture, within
Speaker 0: our kids our kids' development, and so I'm just gonna
Speaker 0: break this up into two different pieces, um, On the
Speaker 0: first one I'm gonna talk about, um, John Gottman's, it's
Speaker 0: not necessarily for youth development, but I feel like.
Speaker 0: It just made sense to me, but I'm gonna talk
Speaker 0: about business connection with you and your kids, and when
Speaker 0: I say your kids, I'm talking about that from the
Speaker 0: educators standpoint of the kids that you work with, but
Speaker 0: also your own kids and then all of us as
Speaker 0: far as collective action goes.
Speaker 0: Right now, we're in a collective, Jon, Jonathan Haidt talks
Speaker 0: about it, we're in a collective action problem, especially with
Speaker 0: social media.
Speaker 0: All the kids are doing it.
Speaker 0: How do we get out of that?
Speaker 0: And so the only way he talks about as far
Speaker 0: as solving collective action issues is through collective action.
Speaker 0: I'll talk about that in a second.
Speaker 0: OK.
Speaker 0: I'm gonna kind of breeze through this.
Speaker 0: Um, John Gottman bids for connection.
Speaker 0: I thought, um, Basically, Godman talks about this idea of
Speaker 0: bids for connection as the fundamental unit of emotional connection.
Speaker 0: Basically, he talks about this idea, over his 50 years
Speaker 0: of research, talks about this idea of this is kind
Speaker 0: of how relationships are built or destroyed through this idea
Speaker 0: of um uh bids for connection.
Speaker 0: So a bid, I'm sorry, it could be um verbal,
Speaker 0: nonverbal, serious or funny, it could be small questions.
Speaker 0: Some of them are explicit, some of them are kind
Speaker 0: of overt, some of them are very covert, and so
Speaker 0: you kinda have to pay attention with that.
Speaker 0: Responses, you can turn towards, you can just respond.
Speaker 0: If so a kid makes a comment, for example, a
Speaker 0: kid makes a comment about a particular thing that they're
Speaker 0: looking online, you can actually respond to that or you
Speaker 0: can do the other thing here, turn away and then
Speaker 0: um turn away.
Speaker 0: This is interesting because John Gottman talks about this idea
Speaker 0: of turning away is actually even worse than the last
Speaker 0: one, turning against, because in turning against, there actually is
Speaker 0: a response and so in, in a, in a very
Speaker 0: Maybe not helpful way, you are actually giving attention to
Speaker 0: a kid, where turning away this idea of ignoring this
Speaker 0: idea of apathy, that is the worst form of um
Speaker 0: disengagement with, with a person is to not care, OK?
Speaker 0: Um, I'm not gonna talk really much more about that.
Speaker 0: With youth, what does it matter and how does, how
Speaker 0: does it kind of relate to kids?
Speaker 0: Youth bids for connection in a technically digit uh uh
Speaker 0: social media, AI technically digitated, uh, digitally mediated culture, they're
Speaker 0: indirect versus explicit.
Speaker 0: They're behavioral rather than verbal, and they're easy to misinterpret.
Speaker 0: Or to miss, all right.
Speaker 0: Over, here's some examples.
Speaker 0: The ones that are obvious.
Speaker 0: Can I show you something?
Speaker 0: Asking questions, seeking attention, subtle bids often missed, sharing a
Speaker 0: meme video or post, and a, and a parent, I'm
Speaker 0: a parent of, of, of teenagers.
Speaker 0: Um, I have 3 of them myself, you know, and
Speaker 0: so like it's easy to just ignore or not care
Speaker 0: or think those things are stupid, all right?
Speaker 0: Just, just to be honest with you.
Speaker 0: Sitting nearby without speaking, that's a kid.
Speaker 0: Asking to connect, changes in tone or energy, disguise bids
Speaker 0: often misinterpreted irritability, will you engage with me?
Speaker 0: Withdrawal from you.
Speaker 0: Do I matter?
Speaker 0: Defiance, are you still there for me no matter what?
Speaker 0: Excessive screen use.
Speaker 0: This is where I feel connection, right?
Speaker 0: And so that's why they're doing that.
Speaker 0: It's a bid for connect uh bid for connection.
Speaker 0: Why this matters for youth, this idea of, uh, youth
Speaker 0: being developmentally wired for connection belonging being seen, of course,
Speaker 0: right?
Speaker 0: When bids are missed or ignored, disconnection increases, when they're
Speaker 0: met, trust and regulation increase.
Speaker 0: Clinical practice.
Speaker 0: Most problem behaviors in our work are unmet bids for
Speaker 0: connection.
Speaker 0: This is from John Gobin's work.
Speaker 0: I think it is absolutely applicable to our work with
Speaker 0: kids.
Speaker 0: The task is not just behavior management.
Speaker 0: The task is to recognize and respond to the bid
Speaker 0: that is underneath.
Speaker 0: So all relationships are built through this process of making
Speaker 0: or responding to bids.
Speaker 0: Here's John Gottman's kind of um seminal work with that
Speaker 0: and then also a connection to is you can click
Speaker 0: on this.
Speaker 0: This is, this is uh Gottman Institute.
Speaker 0: OK.
Speaker 0: The collective, so that's kind of the individual, my suggestion,
Speaker 0: my call for you at, at the individual level is
Speaker 0: to think about how that works out in your practice
Speaker 0: and your work with kids.
Speaker 0: Um, as far as collective action.
Speaker 0: This is where it's gonna be much more difficult, and
Speaker 0: this is kinda where, where we have to kinda get
Speaker 0: on board together as a culture to kind of shift
Speaker 0: this, and then there's hope with that, and I'll talk
Speaker 0: about that in just a second.
Speaker 0: Um, collective action, this idea of changing the conditions of
Speaker 0: development.
Speaker 0: When individuals want to change behavior, but they feel like
Speaker 0: they cannot because others are not changing.
Speaker 0: It's common, you hear this all the time.
Speaker 0: I can't do this.
Speaker 0: I can't have my kid not have a phone because
Speaker 0: everyone else has one and they would be the only
Speaker 0: one without one, right?
Speaker 0: Social media accounts, same sort of thing.
Speaker 0: Just to reframe for parents and for caregivers, and for
Speaker 0: you.
Speaker 0: It's not an individual failure, it's a problem with the
Speaker 0: norms, the systems, and the incentives, going back to the
Speaker 0: incentives.
Speaker 0: I remember, um, listening to Tristan Harris from the Center
Speaker 0: of uh Humane Technology talking about how with these companies,
Speaker 0: he quote, he often quotes, uh, Charlie Munger.
Speaker 0: This is, um, We're in Nebraska, so, uh, Charlie Munger
Speaker 0: is Warren Buffett was one of his partners growing up,
Speaker 0: uh, in, in their business, and so he said, if
Speaker 0: you show me the incentive, I will show the outcomes,
Speaker 0: right?
Speaker 0: And so the incentive of, of online continual engagement, um,
Speaker 0: changes the norms and the systems that we kind of
Speaker 0: exist in right now.
Speaker 0: Uh, changing in policy, culture, and behavior through collective action.
Speaker 0: I'll talk about what's happening with that in just a
Speaker 0: second.
Speaker 0: And here's kinda some of the collective action norms that
Speaker 0: Jonathan Haidt in his book, The Anxious Generation, also would
Speaker 0: recommend that.
Speaker 0: He also has another book just came out in December
Speaker 0: called The Amazing Generation, just kinda helping helping kids connect,
Speaker 0: um, you know, to, to kinda move them away from
Speaker 0: screens, to connect with each other and with their caregivers.
Speaker 0: Um, but here's some of his suggestions, recommendations, and he's
Speaker 0: doing a lot of work, uh, across the world with
Speaker 0: this.
Speaker 0: Reclaiming play.
Speaker 0: I I, I can't say this enough.
Speaker 0: I think, um, to, to again, to when Becca and
Speaker 0: I grew up, this idea of independent play, settling things
Speaker 0: on the playground, right, was just dealing with, with the
Speaker 0: things as they came up, letting them stay there, problem
Speaker 0: solving, getting into conflict, learning how to work together as
Speaker 0: a team in games, all that sort of stuff is
Speaker 0: so important, and that was the way we socialized back
Speaker 0: then, that is missing today.
Speaker 0: So reclaiming that independent time, trying to give kids responsibilities
Speaker 0: again in in as much as, uh as much independent
Speaker 0: responsibility as possible, that's very important.
Speaker 0: Rebuilding real, real-world, um, community.
Speaker 0: Trying to figure out how to do this in the
Speaker 0: real world, not online, OK?
Speaker 0: Delaying smartphones, he recommends, um, delaying smartphones at least till
Speaker 0: high school, so kind of getting through a lot of
Speaker 0: that puberty craziness.
Speaker 0: Um, so delaying that first smartphone, use a different kind
Speaker 0: of phone if you're gonna communicate.
Speaker 0: Gab phones, there's plenty of options out there that do
Speaker 0: not connect to the internet, uh, in the way that
Speaker 0: smartphones do.
Speaker 0: And then, um, delay social media, he has recommended worldwide
Speaker 0: trying to not have kids get on social media until
Speaker 0: they're 16, and a lot of places, I'll talk about
Speaker 0: that in a second, have been adopting that.
Speaker 0: And then supporting structural change, advocacy advocacy for age verification
Speaker 0: sorts of things, alignment with schools and community.
Speaker 0: I'll talk about that in a second as well.
Speaker 0: Um, why this matters, this is really the only way
Speaker 0: that we're gonna get the, the youth on board is
Speaker 0: if as adults, the adults in the rooms to help
Speaker 0: make this stuff happen at all the levels that we
Speaker 0: can with our own kids as well as at the
Speaker 0: school level, as well as with community level, as well
Speaker 0: as with policy law level.
Speaker 0: I'll talk about that in a second.
Speaker 0: Youth are our development is shaped by environments and so
Speaker 0: collective action changes that environment, reducing the social pressure, protecting
Speaker 0: developmental time and just letting kids grow up without the
Speaker 0: difficulty of all the things that kind of um social
Speaker 0: media and AI technology are bringing to their developmental uh
Speaker 0: stages now and then restores opportunity for connection and autonomy
Speaker 0: clinical practice.
Speaker 0: Many families who struggle with technology, it's not about parenting
Speaker 0: skills.
Speaker 0: We have to get that out of our heads, OK?
Speaker 0: They, it's about fighting a, a upstream current of misaligned
Speaker 0: social norms systems and incentives.
Speaker 0: So the task is not just about managing behavior, it's
Speaker 0: about helping them find and build collective alignment with other
Speaker 0: families, for example, in other communities.
Speaker 0: Oops, sorry.
Speaker 0: Back up.
Speaker 0: It starts with individuals and families, but it only works
Speaker 0: if we all move together.
Speaker 0: And then, Here are all kind of the links to
Speaker 0: um his work here, and then the more players on
Speaker 0: the right-hand side, I'm gonna kind of Just let you
Speaker 0: kinda look through that later.
Speaker 0: Resources to kind of wrap up, um, I kinda broke
Speaker 0: these into categories, technology, connection, vulnerabilities.
Speaker 0: There's a lot here.
Speaker 0: I can't go through all of them, but you can
Speaker 0: kinda check through the, I, I kind of, um, Organize
Speaker 0: them as best I could.
Speaker 0: Here in Nebraska, um, there are several bills that are
Speaker 0: out there that have already passed and that are also
Speaker 0: passing.
Speaker 0: I'm just gonna go down a second in the middle,
Speaker 0: OK?
Speaker 0: This one right here is actually from my daughter's high
Speaker 0: school, so like this uh the Nebraska and many others,
Speaker 0: most other states have kind of passed a no phones
Speaker 0: in schools during school day, and during class time bill.
Speaker 0: Um, and so that's happening all over the, the, the,
Speaker 0: the country.
Speaker 0: Um, so these are kind of the legislative legislative, uh,
Speaker 0: legislative pieces.
Speaker 0: Nationally, 31 states right here, 31, uh, states and DC
Speaker 0: have limited bans on cellphones used in, in K through
Speaker 0: 12 classrooms.
Speaker 0: Nebraska and Iowa, the closest here for, for, and then,
Speaker 0: and then globally, Sweden was one of the, it's an
Speaker 0: interesting case study because they were one of the first
Speaker 0: ones to go all in on screens and social media.
Speaker 0: Now, they, they, they saw the ill effects in their
Speaker 0: own country with their own kids.
Speaker 0: They're pulling the plug on it all.
Speaker 0: You know, so that's a, that's a case study here.
Speaker 0: Australia, the, they, Australia, uh, many of these other, um,
Speaker 0: countries are limiting social media access to 16 and 15.
Speaker 0: Australia there, Indonesia here, Spain here, France here, Netherlands here.
Speaker 0: And then, um, I just have some other I'm not
Speaker 0: gonna go through all these, but then there's some other
Speaker 0: resources, um, that can help us as practitioners to kind
Speaker 0: of think about how we can integrate AI effectively and,
Speaker 0: um, well as adults, as the adults in the room,
Speaker 0: um.
Speaker 0: So I'm gonna go ahead and just stop and then
Speaker 0: the vulnerability, these, these are, um, all the things you
Speaker 0: can kind of see here.
Speaker 0: That's linked to chatbots.
Speaker 0: This is from Wikipedia, but you can, you can go
Speaker 0: there and kind of see all the things that are
Speaker 0: happening.
Speaker 0: AI psychosis is down at the bottom.
Speaker 0: This is Jonathan Haidt's work right here.
Speaker 0: Um, this third article, uh, is actually links to the
Speaker 0: web page.
Speaker 0: He's been doing research on social media and mental health,
Speaker 0: especially with youth for the past, this is like a
Speaker 0: 400 page document that just collects all the research data.
Speaker 0: And as far as he's concerned, there is an absolute
Speaker 0: causation linked to the way that social media has impacted
Speaker 0: and, and been detrimental to the, the development of youth.
Speaker 0: So, other colleagues, um, that will, in my, uh, in
Speaker 0: the other three presentations, they'll be kind of, um, talking
Speaker 0: about some of those things more, OK?
Speaker 0: Um, no.
Speaker 0: All right, I know we'll have a couple of minutes.
Speaker 1: Uh, Tang, one of the questions is, do we have
Speaker 1: a, uh, one page information sheet, um.
Speaker 1: To share with parents for digital education safety.
Speaker 1: Um, I don't know if we have one.
Speaker 1: We could probably come up with one.
Speaker 0: I mean, Um, I don't have one made, but I
Speaker 0: could easily make one if that's something that someone's interested
Speaker 0: in.
Speaker 0: I think that would be great.
Speaker 0: Uh, parents are always looking for these sorts of things,
Speaker 0: um, and I think that would be a really Uh,
Speaker 0: easy way to kind of start those conversations with parents
Speaker 0: for sure.
Speaker 0: Let me, and so, um, Sam just asked a question.
Speaker 0: I just put that in the chat, the presentation link
Speaker 0: again.
Speaker 0: This is the presentation link I have over here.
Speaker 0: I'm not, I don't have time to go over all
Speaker 0: this, but Sherry Turkle, um, has been doing research on
Speaker 0: human connection to technology for decades as well.
Speaker 0: Um, she's coming out with a book in September called
Speaker 0: Artificial Intimacy.
Speaker 0: She thinks that is gonna be the new AI, um,
Speaker 0: and just kind of the attachment to human-like, how human-like,
Speaker 0: um, attachment to human-like AI erodes our humanity, um.
Speaker 0: So I think that is it.
Speaker 0: Does anyone have any last-minute questions?
Speaker 0: I also wanna just put down here in the, in
Speaker 0: the final slide, it's kind of our information and then
Speaker 0: just the link to the flyer that has the um
Speaker 0: link to the other presentations that are coming up in
Speaker 0: the next few weeks, OK?
Speaker 0: So I'll actually start off with this slide here, and
Speaker 0: then um just if there's a question or two that
Speaker 0: we can maybe respond to.
Speaker 2: There's a lot of great things popping in the chat.
Speaker 2: I wanna say thank you for this awesome presentation.
Speaker 2: I hope you have a chance to to scroll through
Speaker 2: what the comments are, but one seems to be pretty
Speaker 2: pragmatic, uh, one pragmatic question keeps coming up, which is
Speaker 2: how do I access these slides after the fact?
Speaker 2: So, can you all share some insights into, uh, the
Speaker 2: best way to continue using these resources down the line?
Speaker 0: Uh, again, you, as I mentioned, like, there's a lot
Speaker 0: there, and I, I'll, I'll put the link and then
Speaker 0: this, I think this is gonna be recorded too, Katie,
Speaker 0: so you can have access to this recording, but then
Speaker 0: also the presentation.
Speaker 0: Um, contact Becca or myself, we would love to have
Speaker 0: a longer conversation about how these things can maybe be
Speaker 0: more applicable to you at the practice.
Speaker 0: Um, level, because I mean, I'm, I'm, I'm working, I,
Speaker 0: I'm working with our university to kind of figure out
Speaker 0: how to deploy AI responsibly, ethically, professionally across the university
Speaker 0: here, but I'm always trying to help parents and in
Speaker 0: schools and families do that again because it is a
Speaker 0: complicated issue, right?
Speaker 0: And so we'd have, we'd love to kind of have
Speaker 0: a further conversation with you as far as how to
Speaker 0: make these things more practical with you.
Speaker 0: And I think the uh maybe the upcoming presentations might
Speaker 0: have a little bit more on that too.