{"id":71129,"date":"2021-06-24T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2021-06-24T05:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.unmc.edu\/newsroom\/2021\/06\/24\/wellness-help-from-my-friends\/"},"modified":"2022-09-02T20:15:33","modified_gmt":"2022-09-03T01:15:33","slug":"wellness-help-from-my-friends","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.unmc.edu\/newsroom\/2021\/06\/24\/wellness-help-from-my-friends\/","title":{"rendered":"Wellness: Help from my friends"},"content":{"rendered":"

I have struggled with depression since I was in my early teenage years. My first suicide attempt was when I was 13 years old, followed by several other attempts before I graduated from high school. Growing up in a small town, my parents didn’t seek help until they realized my problem wasn’t going away. Even then, I had to drive an hour away to see someone in a larger community. I felt shame for my struggles, so I kept the severity of my depression and suicidal tendencies to myself.
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\nEmily McElroy<\/span>
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As an adult, I faced three moments when I was in crisis. All three times came out of nowhere without any events I could point to as the cause. The first was my senior year of college, when I stopped functioning. I would get to campus and catch the next subway ride back home, where I would sleep until the next time I had to attend class or take an exam. I would do the same thing of just switching subway platforms and riding back home. A friend finally intervened and took me to an outpatient crisis center. For nearly a month, she would take me to my appointments four days a week. I remained in outpatient crisis counseling for two months. Through the help of my therapist, I was slowly crawling out of a hole when my father was diagnosed with a terminal illness. It shook me out of my situation because I wanted to be there for my father, who meant the world to me. He said one of his dying wishes was to see me graduate. I had to make it happen. I continued therapy as I began a life of pharmaceutical interventions.
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Around 10 years ago, I faced my second crisis. While I was in regular therapy, I kept the worst of my depression at bay. This time, I knew my suicidal ideation was getting worse. I called a close friend and asked if I could bring my dog and stay with him until the next day. With his help and a referral from my therapist, I went to an outpatient center. I lived with him for several months while I went to outpatient group therapy in the morning and my job in the afternoon. At some point, I just felt more stable, whether it was from a new medication or the intensive therapy I was receiving from multiple sources.
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In 2019, I faced my last crisis. I am hopeful it is the last one. As someone who battles depression, I know my warning signs of when it is getting worse. This time, I wasn’t paying as close attention until it was almost too late. I thought I was experiencing a bad case of burnout. I ignored that I was crawling on the couch nearly every night at 6 p.m. and sleeping until I felt it was a reasonable time to crawl to my bedroom. I wasn’t paying attention that I had lost interest in things that bring me pleasure. I was showing up at work and not letting on that I felt complete despair about everything. Many people later commented they had no idea I was struggling so much. Depression can be a very lonely and silent experience, especially when you live alone. My job performance never suffered. Like me, people can be high-functioning, productive, serving in a leadership position and never let anyone suspect the internal struggles.
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My therapist and psychiatrist recommended TMS, transcranial magnetic stimulation, treatment. I had treatment five days a week, for approximately six weeks. I struggled at first, because it took almost four-and-a-half to five weeks before I noticed a change. Everyone around me saw the improvements before I did. After six weeks, I felt a lightness that I had not felt in years. While I continue medications and counseling, my depression is at the lowest level since I can remember.
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Throughout my life, I know when I need to reach out for help. Since my teenage years, I have found friends who know what to do when I call. They have stayed on the phone with me while I drove to an emergency room. I have shared my warning signs, especially for friends who live close to me. I have had high school teachers, college professors, and the close friends I mentioned who have noticed my struggles and provided a lifeline. It was a lifeline I made possible by accepting their help.
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Because I have moved a lot, I have struggled to find a support system when I have moved places where I didn’t have a network of family or friends. My move to Omaha was the most difficult, because I didn’t have a built-in support system as I had during my multiple moves to Oregon or New Jersey. It has been more challenging to create a community here, especially when my tendency is to hibernate. For some of my moves, including to Omaha, I started by calling an employee assistance program or asking my physician for a referral. I also know that my mental health is a chronic condition. I certainly wouldn’t ignore finding appropriate care if it was a different type of illness.
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We don’t hesitate to reach out for help when we suffer an injury that creates the potential for significant harm. Taking care of your mental health is no different. We need to eliminate the stigma of depression and seeking help from others.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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