Consent is Sober. Consent is Communicated. Consent is the act of Respect.
"No man is good enough to govern another man without the other's consent." - Abraham Lincoln
REMEMBER: ** If you have to question if someone is sober enough to consent, it is best to error on the side of caution. **
Consent is a voluntary, sober, enthusiastic, wanted, honest and it is a mutual agreement based on shared desire for specific sexual activities.
Consent is a verbal interaction process, ask every step of the way and take one step at a time. If you want to move to the next level of sexual intimacy, ask and respect the honest answer.
Consent is never implied and cannot be assumed, both people need to be involved in the decision to have sexual intimacy. The absence of a "no" does not mean "yes".
Click here for the complete definition of consent.
Power. The imbalance of physical size, strength, status or authority should not be the reason to give consent. This imbalance can make it difficult to honestly express desires and limits.
Coercion. Obtaining a "yes" by threatening, forcing, manipulation, intimidation, pressuring, blackmailing, drugging or by getting the individual drunk is NOT mutual consent. Consent cannot be coerced!
Implied. Consent given once does not mean always and being in a relationship does not mean you have permission to have sex with your partner. Consent is an important part of a healthy relationship.
The Absence of 'NO'. If a person is incapacitated due to intoxication, mental illness or deficiency or by physical illness or disability to the extent that personal decision making is impossible then consent is also impossible. Surprise may also prevent resistance, as where a person is grabbed from behind.
Ask. You must ask permission to engage in sexual behavior, whether or not you were the one who first initiated the sexual contact.
Communicate. Be clear on exactly what your intentions and expectations are when asking for consent. Open communication, respect and honesty allows sex and relationships to be better.
Listen. A crucial part to getting consent is hearing the answer back from the person you sought consent from. Was it a clear, positive and enthusiastic response back?
Be Clear. State exactly what you desire and if you don't wish to go any further bluntly say, "no". NO means NO, in a healthy relationship your partner will respect your decision every time.
Speak Up. If at any point you want to stop engaging in the sexual activity, speak up and state how you are feeling. It is normal to change your mind and by openly communicating this shows respect for yourself and your partner.
- Alcohol is the #1 Date Rape Drug and is often used as a tool to commit an assault.
- A person cannot legally give consent if they are incapacitated by drugs and or alcohol.
- The person's speech is slurred, you cannot understand their words, they make no sense or they have a hard time communicating.
- You notice slow or clumsy movements, swaying, dropping of objects or forgetting thoughts mid-sentence.
- If the person has louder behavior than usual or mood swings.
- They display inappropriate behavior that their normal personality would not allow.
- If they start talking slowly or moving slowing.
- You can smell the odor of alcohol on their breath.
- A person cannot focus their eyes.
- If they are confused about what is going on around them.
- If the person has urinated, defecated or vomited on themselves.
- They pass out or fall asleep.
- An actor nineteen years of age or older may NOT subject a person under the age of sixteen years of age to sexual penetration, or a person under fifteen years of age to sexual contact.