Avoiding stress
- Acknowledge how you’re feeling. If there’s been a death in the family, a job loss, a change in financial status or you can’t be with loved ones, know that it’s OK and normal to feel sadness and grief.
- Understand that the holidays don’t have to be perfect or “like they’ve always been.” Families change for many different reasons, so traditions must sometimes change, as well. Change the traditions that you’re comfortable changing, and hang on to the important ones.
- Set realistic goals and stick to them. You don’t have to do it all. Delegate and really let go of some holiday responsibilities.
- Set spending limits and stick to them.
- Try to set aside differences. Accepting family members as they are and setting aside grievances can go a long way toward a more peaceful holiday.
- Plan ahead as much as you can with things such as menus or shopping lists. Don’t add unnecessary stress by leaving things for the last minute.
- Stick with healthy habits. Don’t give into a “holiday free for all’ that you’ll regret later. Have a healthy snack before parties to curb overeating, avoid overindulging in alcoholic beverages, try to stick to a normal sleep routine and include some sort of physical activity each day.
- Make time for you. Go for walks, listen to soothing music, read a book, get a massage, give yourself permission to do nothing.
- Give yourself permission to seek the ear and shoulder of friends and family when needed. Seek professional assistance if sadness, depression, anxiety and/or sleep disturbance persist despite your best efforts. Contact your EAP or clergy for professional guidance and assistance.
Not all stress is bad.
Stress is a body’s response to any expectation of change placed upon it, internal or external. Stress is as integral to life as eating and breathing.
Still, stress is an unwelcome, if not always unexpected, holiday guest. The holidays often bring visions of family celebrations, holiday lights, children’s excitement and shopping. For many, the expectation is that people should be joyful and happy during the season.
But there is another dimension to the holidays. Holidays can bring along unwelcome guests such as anxiety, depression, stress and grief. Individuals who are grieving a loss — of a loved one, a job, a relationship — may have difficulty with the approaching holidays.
Trying to learn techniques for managing and controlling the “down side” of the holidays during the holidays is like offering swimming lessons to a drowning person. It’s not a good plan and most often leads to greater distress, frustration, disappointment and that overall feeling of drowning in obligations.
Effectively managing distress is best done when coping strategies are practiced throughout a lifetime. However, experts do suggest some tips for making the holidays less stressful and perhaps mitigating some of the “Bah, humbug” attitude to which people can fall prey.
UNMC’s Faculty/Employee Assistance Program offers these holiday tips (see sidebar) in the hopes of helping our fellow members of the UNMC community to manage not only the expectations of others, but self-imposed expectations, over the next several weeks.
But if, even after implementing these tips, you or a loved one need assistance, please contact Susan Smith (402-559-5323) or Marlene Schneider (402-559-5175) in UNMC’s Faculty/Employee Assistance Program.
Happy holidays from your friends at UNMC’s Faculty/Employee Assistance Program.