Linda Cunningham knows the difficulty of caring for elderly parents more than 1,000 miles away.
Several times a year, Cunningham flies to Bishopville, S.C., to care for her 75-year-old mother, Lillie Cook, who is recovering from a broken hip. Her father, Wiley Cook, died in August after battling prostate cancer for 10 years. He lived in New Jersey.
“Emotionally, it’s difficult,” said Cunningham, cultural competence coordinator for UNMC’s Community Partnership and Multicultural Affairs. “I want to be there, but I can’t. It’s tough to be so far away from mom when I know her health isn’t the best. After losing my father, I’m so afraid something will happen to her.”
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Lillie Cook | Wiley Cook |
Cunningham’s brother and sister, who both live in New Jersey, alternate traveling to the nursing home in Bishopville, about 50 miles east of Columbia. “We all work full-time and have families, but one of us tries to get there every month, or so,” she said.
Because they lived in New Jersey, her siblings assumed much of the day-to-day responsibilities with their father. Cunningham would return home for a week several times a year to visit and provide respite care for her siblings.
“It’s really difficult to watch your parents become so fragile and see the roles reversed where you’re taking care of them, instead of them taking care of you,” Cunningham said.
UNMC employees can learn more about caring for elderly parents, relatives and friends and the coordinated services available at UNMC, University Medical Associates and The Nebraska Medical Center at an eldercare event on Tuesday, Dec. 7 in the Eppley Science Hall.
The “Accessing Eldercare Services and Information” event will feature four presentations in the Eppley Science Hall Amphitheater from 10:45 a.m. to 1:15 p.m., and exhibits in the UNMC Center for Continuing Education Atrium (inside the Eppley Science Hall) from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. There will be free sack lunches to the first 100 employees who attend.
In caring for her parents, Cunningham has dealt with a number of eldercare issues from hospice with her father to companionship and depression issues as her mother has lost her mobility.
To maximize her travels, Cunningham combines vacation days with holidays. “I’ll fly in even if it’s only for three or four days, because mom just needs to have someone there emotionally. It carries her to the next month.”
Still, plane tickets can be expensive, particularly when an emergency arises and a last-minute flight is necessary. “I always put some money aside for that,” she said.
Meanwhile, mother and daughter talk on the telephone two to three times per week.
“In caring for them, you think of your own mortality and what your child will go through and how you can make it easier on them,” Cunningham said.