Carl Greiner, M.D., a UNMC professor, psychiatrist and expert on grief, says many Americans who are watching their net worth drop as a result of the declining stock market are going through the same stages that a person goes through when dealing with grief.
“Instead of the death of a loved one, for some people this can represent the death of a dream,” he said.
And just like dealing with grief, some people can deal with it quickly but others may take a year or two to work through all the stages, which include denial, anger, bargaining, unhappiness and finally acceptance.
The main thing to recognize, Dr. Greiner said, is that how people respond to loss depends on the individual. Some will go through the stages slowly, some quickly. “The same loss–for example a couple who share the same brokerage account — can have a very different response to the same information.”
Dr. Greiner said the main thing is to be patient with the spouse or family member who may be in a different grief stage than you are. Dr. Greiner also said the stock market decline has proven true what he has seen in his years of practice in counseling couples: they are more likely to talk about sex than they are their finances.
“But with the current stress, couples need to talk more, not less about finances. If you have to talk about cutting back, you need to talk it through–how exactly are you going to do that?”
Dr. Greiner said he also advises against one habit that might be tempting to 401k owners — and that is not bothering to even open the mail.
Dr. Greiner said his philosophy in working with cancer patients at UNMC also applies to couples facing the current financial crunch.
“Generally, people do better when they know what the facts are. It’s difficult news many times, but then they at least have a chance to make a decision. Not opening your mail decreases your ability to come up with a good response.”